Mentally handicapped parents

Just saw an interview with her.

Jolanda Doornbos grows up under extraordinary circumstances. Her parents are both mentally handicapped and do not know how to care for their daughter. This results in a difficult and lonely childhood for Jolanda.

Things go wrong for Jolanda when she is just a few days old. When she does not want to drink, her mother wants to give her yoghurt. Only the intervention of the neighbour who happens to see this prevents worse things from happening.

Grandfather
The only bright spot in Jolanda's childhood is her grandfather, who gives her love and attention. "My grandfather was incredibly important to me. He took me on his lap and gave me the attention I needed," says Jolanda. When he dies, Jolanda is only seven years old. From that moment on, she is completely on her own. Because her parents do not do it, Jolanda has to take on all kinds of adult responsibilities, such as arranging appointments with the dentist and the GP.

Jolanda also has to clean the entire house and maintain the garden as a little girl. The responsibilities increase even more when Jolanda is twelve years old and her mentally disabled uncle also comes to live with them. "I also had to take care of him and, for example, change his bed every day because he was incontinent," says Jolanda.

Isolation
Jolanda's situation at home has a direct impact on her social life and her school performance. She wears old, dirty clothes and often stinks. This causes her to be bullied at school. "My parents didn't think it was necessary for me to wash myself often," says Jolanda. Jolanda doesn't dare to bring friends home. Her isolation is reinforced by the fact that her parents also have no trust in outsiders, such as teachers and doctors.

Mentally disabled or gifted?
At school, Jolanda is often misunderstood. "My parents were mentally disabled and that's why people thought I was too. But I was actually highly gifted," explains Jolanda. The lack of understanding and the prejudices make her school time extra difficult.

Little church
When Jolanda turns eighteen, she moves out of her parents' house because of her studies. This turns out to be a turning point in her life. "There was a little church near me and one Sunday evening I heard music coming from the church." Jolanda walks in, and something special happens.

https://www.eo.nl/artikel/jolanda-doornbos-mijn-ouders-waren-verstandelijk-beperkt?srsltid=AfmBOoo3fFb6DGVkePKHEVTuEtqbc1AJBWwnzxCzIhZtUUkWYcGhXGuU

incredible story. I'd say this person has defied many odds. Attachment, primarily early in life, can have a significant effect on relationships later in life. It seems that her grandfather gave her encouragement, love, and secure attachment that she needed, but when these attachments are interrupted the trauma can follow a person for the rest of their lives. Not that it didn't for her, but somehow she found strength to persevere.
God bless her